All 25 game Reviews

Animal Puncher Animal Puncher

Rated 4 / 5 stars

The reason I love and hate this website...

I look at this game, and think wow it's pretty fucking well done, I examine the narrative of the game and can see thought went into it, it's subversive but there is a message to it.

The gameplay is simple and uncomplicated, it's easy to pick up, and reminds me of some of Tom Fulp's first games like "Last piece of cake"; and the "Assassin" series from newgrounds infancy.

The graphics are interesting, and complex for the pixel style of art chosen. Sometimes the animation seems off, but I can understand given the limitations of using the pixel style graphics. How was that effect achieved anyway? Was it photoshop created images imported into flash, or a special extension of the flash tools?

Perfect selection of music, and cheesy 16 bit sound effects...

The criticism you've received based on the content, is extremely ostentatious, since most of the people that have given you zero star ratings have extremely violent submissions like "Madness" in their favourites.

This is just a work of fiction, no animals were harmed in this submission, and if these morons knew where their food came from (meat eaters and vegans alike) they wouldn't be writing such stupid, smug, and pretentious comments.

In the game you never condone the actions of the characters, after the first night's "mercy killing", the player is given the choice to not continue killing animals, and if this path is chosen the game immediately ends. Isn't it funny how your critics avoid bringing that up? One needs to be complicit at the beginning for the game to progress to the point where you're killing innocent animals.

If one does decide to be complicit in killing animals, it ultimately leads to the games conclusion which depicts serious consequences as a direct result of the main character's actions.

There was also an attempt to flesh out the character's motivations, instead of presenting them as stereotypical "black and white" bad guys, something that media in this day and age is glossing over. It's easy to pander to the whims of popular opinion in order to appeal to a demographic, it's significantly harder to present something as multifaceted and risk getting chewed out by cads.

Anyway the game is surrealistic, and shouldn't have been taken as seriously as some people have taken it, fuck people the game is called "animal puncher" what do you expect?!

Does the game have flaws? Sure it does, the gameplay while fun isn't very deep, the game itself is dreadfully short, and the animation is rigid. In no way however does it deserve the score, and reviews it's received.

It's great that newgrounds allows you to host such content, my sincerest condolences go out to you for losing second place to the lacking "Karissa Sleeps", based purely on silly political reasons.

I wish you the best in your future game endeavours, and I hope the bullshit over this game doesn't deter you.

- Celx

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Fisher-Diver Fisher-Diver

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Astonishingly Beautiful.


I was taken by surprise by how pretty everything in this game was, despite it's simplistic "abstract" art. The colours captured the feeling of the ocean perfectly, and offered incentive to continue playing if only to discover the other "marine life".

The gameplay is simple enough that anyone with some basic gaming knowledge can pick it up, but deep enough that one could spend a significant amount of time exploring for "the story recordings", and upgrading their tools.

The oxogen bar adds a certain risk/reward element, especially when venturing into the deeper levels of the ocean to hunt the larger and more dangerous game for more financial gain.

The sound designer, and music author also deserve some massive praise, they nailed the atmosphere of the game and complimented your submission wonderfully.

I guess if I had one complaint, it would be the menu screens could have been designed in a more aesthetically pleasing manner, and the diary entries would have benefitted from some illustrations. By the way should you ever decide to incorporate some illustrations on a similar forthcoming project; I'm ready and willing, wink wink nudge nudge.

Kidding aside I loved this game so much, it's classy, and a makes a good contribution to the independent gaming movement. It's enjoyable just to aimlessly explore, that's a unique trait in a game.

- Celx

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FreeAsANerd responds:

What a lovely review!

The oxygen bar was one of the things I added to the game after Edmund McMillen played it and noted that he "couldn't find the risk/reward," so good job catching that!

And you're right-the sound guys did a stellar job. If you like the music in the game and want to support them, you can buy an album of all the game's tunes here: sher-diver-soundtrack

And yeah, the menus are kind of rough because I did them myself. I'm not particularly good with visual art, so usually I work with other people who can actually draw and stuff. This is also a big part of why the game's graphics are so simple-I'm not capable of much more than that at this point, or else things start looking sloppy and awkward.

Thanks a bunch!

Gretel and Hansel Part 2 Gretel and Hansel Part 2

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Review #100

I wanted to save this review until I found something really worthwhile to use it on, and man was this worthwhile.

First off let me express how impressive the narrative was, your ability to tell a story using only mannerisms is incredible, and the aspects of symbolism at play here are magnificent.

Despite the lack of spoken dialect, the main characters are both affable, and interesting with their own quirky personas, it's amazing what you've managed to pull off without language.

The game is violent, and captures the true nature of what fairly tales were meant for, which was to serve as cautionary satirical stories about the capricious and dangerous nature of the world. That said none of the violence really seems out of place within the context of the narrative, and although at times the violence can be humorous, it never comes off as patronizing to your audience.

The wonderful art style, and animation makes this submission stand out, I love the simple yet beautiful "watercolor" backgrounds, and the character design is unique, I feel as though I'm playing through a Russian fable.

The audio and sound effects all compliment the submission perfectly, and the music composers, and sound designers all definitely deserve major kudos.

Speaking about the gameplay now, I must say I'm impressed by all the puzzles and side quests the designer managed to work into the game. None of them seemed half assed or unwarranted, and all of them seemed to play into the themes of the game or add to the overall mythology, sometimes doing both in tandem.

The controls themselves were so easy to pick up and play I feel even someone with no understanding of video games could dive right in.

The actionscripting was pretty flawless, and the games autosave feature is something so useful I don't understand why it hasn't become standard practice in the flash game development community, the programmer is certainly of a high ilk and should be commended for his work on this project.

All the additional content such as the bonus hats, and different medals and endings (especially that quixotic robot ending), add to the replay value, whilst also conveying the amount of time that went into this games development.

I've often contemplated what makes an "adult" game (that is a game that would appeal to adults, not speaking in terms of the "pornographic"), and I feel this would stand as an excellent example.

The three things that I feel would make a game appeal to adults are accessible controls, intelligent design, and a mature narrative.

Your game capturers all of this and makes it into something unique and rare, a professional product that manages to transcend the cliche conventions of the genre and stand on its own merit as an exemplification of "fine art" in the realm of flash game design.

I can see why you were nominated for the tank awards, and with upmost sincerity I hope you and you're staff wins, this anthology of games you building is amongst the most noble uses of flash I've ever seen.

I feel once complete your saga will serve to garner more respect for videogames as a whole, something that the industry in this era of hypocrisy and aggressive critical opinion hurled at the craft from opportunistic charlatans is in dire need of.

It was a privilege to play something so deep, well rounded, and rich in substance. I'm eagerly awaiting the finale of your trilogy so I can view your saga as a whole, if this submission and the one prior serve as a prognostication of things to come I'm sure I won't be disappointed.

Thank you,
- Celx Requin

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makopudding responds:

We're speechless! Thank you for this wonderful and very thorough review... Its very motivating as we work on Part 3... We hope you'll feel as positive about it as we feel it will be the best of the series.

- Mako

Hentai Octopus Adventure Hentai Octopus Adventure

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I can't believe people are voting his down...

Because of the title.

Seriously what is wrong with you people, why are you assholes coming to newgrounds if you're only wanting to jerk off to porn, wouldn't it be easier to do a google search instead?

Regardless your cartoon was really charming, I liked the simple aesthetic and animation. The concept was funny and cute without crossing the line into the saccharine, and it contained a simple and innocent but effective punch line.

Good clear audio, honestly there isn't too much I have against the piece other than it was kinda short, and the drawings and some of the animation could have been touched up.

Keep up the good work!
- Celx

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Big, Healthy Easter Eggs Big, Healthy Easter Eggs

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Uhh are you guys fucking serious?

I don't have anything against porn or anything, but the fact that this snagged daily second is depressing.

First off the art was simplistic and kinda generic, the actual "gameplay" was limited even for one of these "cut and paste" type of porn games, and only consisted of a few options.

Goddamn this is something I could slap together in two days, and when a submission like this beats out better ones, primarily due to the fact it has cartoon tits in it 13 year olds will jerk off too I feel like crying.

I don't blame the author though, I blame the users for voting something up with little merit because they're too horny to realize how lackluster the submission really was.

Newgrounds you dissapoint,
- Celx

Rock-Candy responds:

Well, seeing as this was made in like 2~3 days of work time, I bet you could make this in two days as well. :3

Dino Run:Marathon Of Doom Dino Run:Marathon Of Doom

Rated 4 / 5 stars

I would like to buy this however...

I already beat the first one 100%, so will my file information be transfered over?

Also I dislike credit cards, however I can ask a friend if he'll use his to purchase the game, if done in this manner can I use the code given his computer once I get home on my computer?

Anyway this game is great, it's one insanely tough level, although for all the right reasons (fair, and balanced difficulty).

I love the simple graphics, wonderful concept, easy yet deep game mechanics, and tight controls.

Truly nostalgia at it's finest!
- Celx

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pixeljamgames responds:

Yeah, if someone else buys it, have them forward you the email with the links to the game. That will work. Thanks!

Arm of Revenge Arm of Revenge

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Holy Fuck!

Where do I start?
This is an excellent throwback to the old arcade style fighters I grew up with.

You nailed the graphics, and have done an excellent job on the music selection as well. The gameplay is tight, and the controls are responsive, the story is ridiculous and campy fun.

I like all the modern touches you've added like the "cg style" graphics, and the level/skill system are both nice touches that add to the replay value.

Furthermore, I commend you on the difficulty of your game, it's very hard although not impossible once you figure out enemy patterns. Making a game that's hard but fair is very difficult balance to achieve and I commend you for doing so.

The points you've assigned to the medals you've added are appropriate.

My only critique is I wish you would have added secrets similar to the way "Dino Run" by Pixeljam Games did.

Regardless thank you for making this,
the nostalgia I'm feeling right now is almost euphoric.
- Celx

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Super Mario BP Oil Spill Super Mario BP Oil Spill

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Basic but fun...


I really liked the whole satirical aspect to your game, it's quite funny, and poignant.
There isn't anything wrong with the game, it's very true to the "mario bros" gameplay, and aesthetic.

The game is simple enough to pick up and play, yet is versatile enough to become challenging at the later potions.

I wish you guys would have made your own sprites like you did for your christmas kung fu game, and added a few extras too. Those are my only critiques to be honest.

I digress well done.
- Celx

Solo Pong Solo Pong

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Not gonna lie...

When you make a game be sure to have a decent looking menu page, because if it's not aesthetically pleasing to the eye people will take one look and say fuck this, and blam your submission.

And in many ways they have a right to do so, I mean if your running an ad for your game you're expecting an audience to use their free time to play your game.

If the layout is shitty, it leaves the impression you're just trying to profit by making shitty games, and think the player is brain dead enough to let you do so.

The thing is this isn't a good game with a shitty menu either, it terrible all round, the physics are poor, the controls aren't as tight as they should be (especially for such a simple game).

I wouldn't be as offended if you didn't run an ad, or at least tried to make the game look nicer, so a least I could see some effort.

Without those things, I feel I'm being used to garner you money for something that was slapped together in an hour.

Why would I do that when I could play someone else's game that was made with the actual desire and effort required to make something decent?

- Celx
~Review Request Club~

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FireWOLF109 responds:

Well I'm still getting used to the whole thing... so atleast give me kudos for this being my first flash cause they usually are terrible

Judas bread attack! Judas bread attack!

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Impossible to play...

Where do I start...
I like the concept blasphemy is always fun, but the game itself is... Atrocious

The graphics are really poorly done and out of place, the gameplay itself is damn infuriating (especially when your hits aren't registering).
The sound bytes that looped were annoying...

Like I said I like the concept, but the execution on this project was deeply flawed.

In the future should you create another game similar to this, please slow down the speed of the jesus, and make the sound effects only occur when the user hits a target, lastly perhaps you should include a skip tutorial button.

- Celx
~Review Request Club~

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MonoFlauta responds:

Wiii i love blasphemy hahahha, yes its bad in art, programming, music a bit, but well, it was an small game we made with fro in 2 days,
anyway, thanks for the review :)